Naturally Stolen

I've said before that one of my main reasons for going natural is my daughter. Her natural hair was stolen from her to early.

It was a year ago when I picked her up from her other grandmothers house to find my daughters hair was straight. I asked what had happened. The grandmother told me that she got a perm but "it was a kid perm, doesn't she look pretty". I told her grandmother that "Wasn't anything wrong with her before and she was BEAUTIFUL then!"

I was pissed to say the least. There isn't a word for the level of anger I had that day. Not only did her father relax her hair without my permission, consent or knowledge, he didn't even bother to tell me about it before I picked up my daughter. He wouldn't even answer my phone call that day. He knew what was up.

Back story - He knew that I did not want her hair relaxed. I have told him that she has the rest of her life to ruin her hair. No need to do ruin it earlier than 16. He and I aren't together and he is remarried. I am not a mother that constantly calls, texts, etc. I don't ask you for any money. You're not on child support. and I may see you only once every few months because we do most of our exchanges at school or whatever. Rarely face to face. No particular reason, just how it's been. But, we've talked about this issue regarding her hair.

Well, this particular day when she went to her dad's house, she had her hair in a afro puff. We went swimming earlier and hadn't had a chance to do her hair. He called later that day and wanted to get her the next day. Cool. This was a Friday. Apparently by that Saturday, she had a perm. His wife bished to him and he caved. I didn't pick her up til that following Friday. No one bothered to say anything.

I've always told my daughter that her hair is beautiful. That there was nothing wrong with her hair. But, she saw others (including me) around her with straight hair and she wanted the same. She was happy at first. Her hair was long like she wanted it. But, seeing her hair permed made me realize how FINE her hair really was.

Within a few months. her hair was just enough to put in a ponytail. It was breaking off bad. My best efforts in teaching a 10 year old child on taking care of their hair wasn't working. Taking her to the hair dresser to make sure a professional did her hair didn't help. I haven't used a box perm on her because I don't want to do that. Now her hair is severely damaged.

So, this year, a month before school let out, I put braids in her hair. She was going to be spending the summer in the pool and there was no need for her to have a fresh relaxer and chlorine combo going on. She took the braids out last week (they had been redone since school. don't worry) and I washed and conditioned her hair. But, it doesn't look good. Her natural hair has grown quite a bit but her relaxed hair looks dead and damaged.

I hope that me going natural will show her that she doesn't need a perm in her hair. Hopefully, she'll see that she doesn't have to have straight hair. Hopefully, she'll go back to her natural hair until she's at an age where she can care for her own hair properly.

Crazy Dream..

I had a crazy dream last night about hair type. In my dream my hair morphed into type 2B hair. Very defined spiral curls. Weird, I know.

Hair Type is a big topic among black women. As many of us still think of certain hair types being ‘good hair’. Also, know your hair type will help you when you choose products that works best for your hair.

Most black women fall among these hair types. Looking at my hair, I seem to have mostly 3C with some 3B in the back of my neck. Now, depending on what you read, your self diagnosed hair type will be different. I’ve read that you must get your hair soaking wet in order to determine your hair type. Other places have said that you’re hair needs to be dry. I used the wet method. With the wet method it was easier to see what type of curls I had.

I haven’t had a chance to use the Jane Carter Solutions Conditon & Sculpt yet. Hopefully tonight, I’ll be able to do it. At the moment, my internet connection at home is JACKED (as my friend likes to call everything now adays! Lol). So, until I get a hack to get back on line at home (I know, I’m dying!), I’m going to have to figure out how to upload pictures of the finished product once I try this stuff. Give me a minute though, I’ll be back online soon!

Til next time…

Wordless Wednesday - Old School Hair

Unpardonable Sin

I’m addicted to reading cnn.com. I check it several times during the day, more than I check my local news website. There is always something interesting regarding black hair care.

When Clifton Green and his wife adopted an adorable little girl from Ethiopia, they knew they would eventually have to deal with the hair issue.

The Atlanta, Georgia-based couple, who are white, had read books about transracial adoptions that addressed how to deal with Miriam's springy curls that grew in full, dark and strong after a toddlerhood of baldness.

Green took it upon himself to learn how to care for and style his daughter's textured tresses.

"We didn't have any skills, but we had the desire," said Green of learning to do his now 5-year-old daughter's hair. "It's the culture, it's important and we want to honor it and respect it."

For many African-Americans, having a child walk around with unkempt hair is an almost unpardonable sin.

(source)

It's a beautiful thing that this dad realized he didn't have the skills and took the time out to learn how to style his childs hair. It is also a good thing that he doesn't put the same stimas on her hair as we already have gone thru growing up.

The good/bad hair issues we have is horrible. I used to say "I hope I have good hair". But, I had to really think about that statement. My daughters natural hair is beautiful and I told her that often. I never wanted her to feel like her hair was bad. She had alot of hair, but outside pressures got to her and she wanted a relaxer.

The pressure alone is enough to make people lose sleep. I was concerned how my friends & family would take my transition. I didn't tell my friends about my decision until I was at my 8 week point (when I would normally get a relaxer). Most of my friends told me "it won't last long, you'll get a relaxer soon". I told my father that I planned on cutting all my straight hair out in a few months. He gave me this look of complete disapproval. He told me "Keep your hair long, it looks good that way". I tried to explain to him that I was tired of relaxing my hair and I wanted to see what MY hair looks like. He just wasn't hearing it. But, 4 months later, no relaxer or heat has touched my hair! It's also starting to grow on my dad. I love my new growth. I've learned to embrace it. I don't care what other people think about my good and bad hair days. It happens!

I look forward to seeing Chris Rocks documentary, "Good Hair". I'm curious to see how he touches on the subject that our community goes thru with our hair issues.

Being Lazy

Since last weeks bantu knot issue (hair was still wet in the morning), I hadn’t tried it again. I’m thinking I put too much vegetable glycerin in my spray bottle which causes my hair to feel like it has a lil residue in it. You know that feeling where there seems to be too much product or something. I think I need to add more water to the mix. Maybe that will help it thin out some.

So, since I’m being lazy, I’ve been wearing ponytails and headbands for a while. I just hadn’t felt like rolling or even messing with my hair. This is probably the only time that I’m glad I hadn’t cut my hair! I want to cut it but like most people, I’m scared of the short hair. I’ve had shoulder length hair most of my life and I know that the image of the natural hair I have in my head won’t be the actual image.

I’m also starting to realize that I have about three different textures in my head. Don’t ask me about the 3b, 4c stuff because I have no clue. However, if I were to part my hair down the middle, on the right, left and right in the crown seem to be all different textures of hair. I know when I cut all the relaxed hair out, the texture will be really different, but I’m anxious to see what MY hair looks like.

But in the meantime, I’ll try to hold out a little while longer. Maybe a few more months. Hopefully, that will give my hair time to grow out some more and I can have a nice size fro.
I also tried a new condition the other day. Giovanni 50/50 Balance Conditioner. Since I mostly co-wash (conditioner wash) my hair I wanted a good conditioner. Based on some youtube.com reviews, this is an excellent conditioner. The jury is still out on that. I tried it one time so far and I’m not impressed with the results. Maybe I’m used to the all the chemical based conditioners. Giovanni products are 100% natural. I will try it again in a few days and let you know how it works out.

Lazy picture source