Natural hair = Afrocentric?

So, in a recent trip out of town for my family reunion, one of my cousins made a comment.

"Oh, you're going Afrocentric."

"No, I'm just wearing my natural hair"

Then another conversation with another cousin was crazy!

"You need to do something with your hair...a comb, or something...you need to get it done!"

So, at this point, I was irritated to say the least.

"Are you questioning God's plan? Do you have a problem with God's creation?? Because this is what he created. Are you saying he's wrong? If so, you may need to go to church on Sunday to discuss that with him"

O.k. I may have been a lil harsh...he is my cousin after all. But, I was tired of having to justify my hair to family. Why did you cut it? What made you do that? etc. I was a lot annoyed with it. But, I really tried to take it in stride.

But, the one thing that really set it off was the extra hands in my head. OMG...I'm not a chia pet. lol. It's hair. Please stop rubbing my hair. Please don't freely put your hands in my head...at least ask. *sigh*

Til Next Time

Summer Love

I never really looked at the difference your hair makes in your life before being natural. I mean, I knew that having relaxed hair meant that swimming was a no-no and exercising was going to be a pain for my roots.

But, now that I’m natural, I see how I limited myself by having relaxed hair. Being a FL girl, access to water is so easy. But, I would go summers without even setting foot in a pool because I didn’t want to mess up my hair. I’m not one of those girls who were in the hair salon every few weeks to get my hair done. But, I knew the damage the chlorine would take on my hair. I didn’t need anymore chemicals. So, summers come and go and I don’t go swimming. I missed that.

I know being natural doesn’t mean that the chlorine won’t harm my hair. But, not having the chemically processed hair makes gives my hair more of a fighting chance to enjoy the activities of summer.

This weekend, I plan on taking my kids to the pool or to the beach or somewhere so we can have our last bit of summer fun before school starts. I can’t wait!

Good Hair

I really look forward to seeing this movie. With all the pressures on black women that start with our hair, it will nice to see all these stereotypes aired. Maybe then we can get over our hair.

Now that I'm natural, I can really see the issues. Why is wearing MY NATURAL hair such a problem?? How unfair is it to black women to made to feel like their hair, the hair they were born with, is WRONG. The only way to correct it is to LYE to yourselves? If you like your perm, fine. But, now that I'm going thru this process, I LOVE MY HAIR.

I have never really embraced my hair before. I always thought that you were supposed to get a relaxer. That's just what I had to do. My hair was supposed to be straight. Go figure, I had another option.

Irritated!

Why am I irritated? Well, I wanted to touch on the fact that my dad hated my hair.

His reaction irritated me (now that I think about it). Sure, that's his reaction and I'll always be his baby girl blah blah blah...

But, why in the Sam Hill (something my co-worker always said 'Sam Hill') does it matter whether I cut my hair our not? I feel like singing India Erie, I AM NOT MY HAIR.

Wouldn't you think that you would just be happy? But, I have to be going thru something in order to do something so drastic. I wanted to cut my hair. I have been battling with my hair and wanting to go natural. But, my fear of others reactions stopped me.

When he told me he hated my hair, I told him 'Oh well, IT'S JUST HAIR and it will grow back!'. He just kept repeating "I just don't like it, what are you going thru".

I'm going thru CONTROL!

Til Next Time...

So..I cut off all my hair

“Mommy, your hair looks JACKED UP” ~ 5 year old son

“I wouldn’t do it, but if you’re happy, I’m happy” ~ 11 year old daughter

“I like it. You look artsy & smarter” ~ Friend

“WOW” ~ Step-Mom

“Did you get a haircut? I like it!” ~ Manager

“Zoinks” ~ Co-Worker

“OMG, Thank God it’s CUUUTTTTEEEEE” ~ Best Friend

“Love it” ~ Friend

“Sexy” ~ Co-Worker

Most others around me (mom & Dad hadn’t even seen it yet) that have seen my hair, hadn’t really said much. Kinda like ‘no biggie’. For me, which is cool!

After I wrote the post about fear controlling my reason for not cutting my hair, it bothered me. I don’t like being scared of something that I can control (not like my fear of palmetto bugs..eeewww). And…it’s just hair! Why have I had a complex all these years about having short hair?? It was the fear of what others would say. How would they look at me, etc. Last night, I didn’t care!

So, with scissors in hand, I took my fear on and just cut my hair. At one point, I even contemplated stopping. I was at the point where I can just pony it up. But, I had to let go of my comfort zone. I wanted to embrace change. I needed too.

After I cut it, I didn’t feel anything. LOL. O.k. wait…I did feel in control. But, I was neither happy nor sad. I was ‘whatever-it’s short now. Now what?’

So coming to work today, I didn’t feel the least bit worried about others reactions. I love how I look regardless of what my hair looks like. I feel I let go of my ‘hair issues’.

My only beef now is, Why didn’t I do this sooner?

Being a Punk!

I’ve always been a simple maintenance type of girl. But, right now, my hair is working my maintenance nerves. Last night, I had scissors in had, ready to just cut it all of. What stopped me?

FEAR!

Fear of what I will look like with a TWA (Teenie Weenie Afro). I’ve never had short-short (different than just short) hair before. The shortest I’ve had my hair was just below my ears and that was in high school….and relaxed. Most of my life, I’ve had my safety net of a ponytail when having a bad hair day (like today).

Fear of the stigma from having short hair. Hair is very important to black women (not all, but most) and going natural is a big thing for us. Many of us think about it, but the fear of actually doing it is what makes us go back for another relaxer. You can look at black hair magazines and not see many natural hair styles. Mostly are relaxed hair styles…even the short hair ones. So, going from straight to a natural curly texture is scary to say the least.

I know I’m being a punk about my hair. I'll get over it soon...

Unpardonable Sin

I’m addicted to reading cnn.com. I check it several times during the day, more than I check my local news website. There is always something interesting regarding black hair care.

When Clifton Green and his wife adopted an adorable little girl from Ethiopia, they knew they would eventually have to deal with the hair issue.

The Atlanta, Georgia-based couple, who are white, had read books about transracial adoptions that addressed how to deal with Miriam's springy curls that grew in full, dark and strong after a toddlerhood of baldness.

Green took it upon himself to learn how to care for and style his daughter's textured tresses.

"We didn't have any skills, but we had the desire," said Green of learning to do his now 5-year-old daughter's hair. "It's the culture, it's important and we want to honor it and respect it."

For many African-Americans, having a child walk around with unkempt hair is an almost unpardonable sin.

(source)

It's a beautiful thing that this dad realized he didn't have the skills and took the time out to learn how to style his childs hair. It is also a good thing that he doesn't put the same stimas on her hair as we already have gone thru growing up.

The good/bad hair issues we have is horrible. I used to say "I hope I have good hair". But, I had to really think about that statement. My daughters natural hair is beautiful and I told her that often. I never wanted her to feel like her hair was bad. She had alot of hair, but outside pressures got to her and she wanted a relaxer.

The pressure alone is enough to make people lose sleep. I was concerned how my friends & family would take my transition. I didn't tell my friends about my decision until I was at my 8 week point (when I would normally get a relaxer). Most of my friends told me "it won't last long, you'll get a relaxer soon". I told my father that I planned on cutting all my straight hair out in a few months. He gave me this look of complete disapproval. He told me "Keep your hair long, it looks good that way". I tried to explain to him that I was tired of relaxing my hair and I wanted to see what MY hair looks like. He just wasn't hearing it. But, 4 months later, no relaxer or heat has touched my hair! It's also starting to grow on my dad. I love my new growth. I've learned to embrace it. I don't care what other people think about my good and bad hair days. It happens!

I look forward to seeing Chris Rocks documentary, "Good Hair". I'm curious to see how he touches on the subject that our community goes thru with our hair issues.